Die Wochenende in Heidelberg - Verpissen Sie Turisten!

Willkommen in Heidelberg!
Es ist Zeit fur Herbstfest!
Here we will be having special exhibitions and displays, live music and djs, fine food and drink, craft fairs!
Wunderbar!!
Actually, nicht so wunderbar
Day starts off well with some bad ass breakindancing going down at the Bismarcksplatz, then it's on the Hauptstrasse.....or is it? ;)
One look at the hellish crowds thronging the route is enough, so I cross over the Neckar to escape the madness
As I'm on this side of the river, I decide to stick my head into 'O Reillys more out of curiosity than anything.....and I promptly withdraw said head faster than you can say 'Well be the holy, is it yourself is it?'
Fine for one night perhaps, when you're tanked up and out with a bunch of Irish lads on the tear (which I'm not), but otherwise Nein Danke
In a different class altogether is the Bar D'Aix opposite 'O Reillys
Small, old rustic yet stylish decor, German clientele, Leverkeusen vs Bayern on a big screen in the corner, which despite it's size, is unobstrusive
Bar D'Aix is everything 'O Reillys is not, without even trying

After a small but very tasty Croque Monsieur and a thirst quenching kleines 'Divers', I head for the Philosophen Weg or to be more precise the Schweizenweg (the steeper, less travelled route!)
The overgrown pathway is covered with sweet chestnut shells whilst crickets chirp away in the evening light; no wonder they call it the Philosopher's Way, there's great peace up here away from the madding crowd
I eventually make it as far as the Bismarcksaule Tower, climbing up a spiral stone stairwell to the top, the view over Heidelberg and the Neckar river valley is inspirational and were it not for the trees growing all round, would be even more impressive

Descending to ground level again, many of the stalls on der Altebrucke are packing up, so I head downtown in search of some good music or a decent not overly touristy bar, unfortunately both prove very hard to find!
I finally find a place called 'Drugstore' which has Cuban music, natives rather than tourists (some of whom are playing chess on the tables!) and some tasty snacks on the menu, one of which I try: Neuer Wein und Schwiebelkuchen
The wine is delicious, fruity, slightly fizzy and very refreshing, the onion tart is also top notch, tasty and succulent (feck i'm beginning to sound more like jamie oliver every day!) ;D
I move on again...there has to be some other cool bars here playing something over than Eagles covers or Girls Aloud? Perhaps not methinks as I stumble upon Unterestrasse and Heumarkt thronged with people, almost dangerously overcrowded
It's as bad if not worse than Temple Bar on a Saturday night with an uninspiring AC/DC cover band preaching to the converted - people, this is not good
After struggling through the great unwashed, I make it down to Hemingways for a quiet Heffe and then it's homeward bound

Maybe I'm being a bit cynical about the Herbstfest, ok so it was crowded but then most festivals are, it did have plenty of musical performances on, albeit fairly predictable ones, it had plenty of fare for kids and families which is fair enough as well and it caters pretty well for your average tourist, ie. it caters for the mainstream....and there's the rub, cos mainstream and i don't always see eye to eye!

cooper out

Day 4 im Schloss mit veile Salamander(s) - Heidelberg ist unheimluch kuhl!

The highlight of the trip so far was my encounter tonight with several small slimy amphibians, glaub es oder nicht!,
Gott in Himmel!! my work has just been wiped!! arghg!
ok, even at night time, the view was impressive, in daytime i'd say it's spectacular
even more spectacular was the wildlife on my way down, the steps bedecked with some beautiful creatures - a rat (ok, maybe they weren't all beautiful), a coupla glistening orangey slugs and the coup de grace, some wonderful fire salamanders!
Took several pics and some video footage before getting outta there
right folks, gotta go
fire salamAnders! like totally awesome!! OMFG!!!

Day 3 in Deutschland - O mein Gott, Sie haben Kenny gemordert

Nichts ist passiert heute - Kommen Sie bald zuruck!

Day 2 in das verdammt Holiday Inn - Heidelberg ist nicht kuhl

Scheiss!!!
Stuck in Holiday Inn ennui and ist es unheimlich langweillig
no supermodels, no arsecracks, no coke, no nuffink
However, all is not lost, salvation comes in the incorrigible and unintelligible form of Navan Man & the Drunken Policitican
Unquestionably the best series of comedy sketches ever on Irish radio
My alltime favourite sketch has to be Father Sneaky's interrogation of Navan Man in the confession box about the exact nature of his relationship with former Taoiseach John Bruton!
Here's a taster:
Track 15 - Father Sneaky

I'm presently collecting Navan Man's entire recorded (well, released at any rate) output, so anyone interested in hearing more, you know who to call

Heidelberg ist kuhl - Day 1 in dem Grosses Brüder Haus

Ja, it's true
I am hier in Heidelberg in an internet cafe in the Universität area, a street called Plöck to be precise
Dies ist where it is at mein Freunds
Never mind yer Hauptstrasse, Plöck ist all you need
Es gibt wunderschöne Kirchen, Museums, art hotels, impossibly cool little alternative shops, even the religious shop beats the hell (if you will) out of most secular shops back home
Unfortunately everything ist jetzt geschlossen however this matters not weil ich habe all of diese Woche und nächste Woche to come back und plunder für Irland
And that's not to say that the rest of Heidelberg hasn't got much to offer (it has)
I arrived in der Altstadt this evening at about 19:30, after a quick wander on der Älterbrücke, I headed for the Gottverdammerung Hauptstrasse encountering the usual mix of mostly American tourists und Amerikanischen Studenten but Hark! is that an organ I hear before me?
It sure is! From the beautiful red sandstone Heiligegeistkirche, so in I wandered and there in the corner of the altar was a small illuminated figure playing his illuminated organ - majestic....and acoustics like I've ever heard
if only all music was played in churches!
this was followed by a quick jaunt into one of the many cafes gracing the Hauptstrasse, ein Tiramisu und eine Tasse Kaffe für only 3 euro 90
Now das ist ein Bargain in anyone's language!
Onward then to the Vespabar for an some pasta and and unfeasibly large Weizen with an unfeasibly large head - heretofore I proceeded to lick the head off this beast just as two American students walked in the door, needless to say they were mightily impressed and proceeded to my premises post haste for a roll in the hay (or maybe not!) ;D
Following this episode I proceeded down SeminarStrasse and headed for Plöck, taking a slight detour into the UniversitätsBibliothek, seeing a sign for an Exposition, I scampered upstairs only to be told that es geschlossen ist und given ein slap on der wrist
And then to Plöck....and finally to here in der Net Cafe - 2 euro for 90 Minuten, for sure das ist ziemlich gut Value!
Also tchuss und tune in Morgens Abend for Day 2 in dem Grosses Brüder Haus!